Author: The Dainty Thug

Three years ago, I made a decision to honor my natural curly hair and embark on a “Natural Hair Journey“. Though I had stopped relaxing my hair about eight years prior, I had not stopped straightening it and had no idea how to navigate my life without doing so. Every product, hairstyle, or trick I had revolved around keeping my hair sleek, smooth, and most importantly, pin-straight. After “transitioning” from routinely straightening my hair in 2015, I chopped off more than 12 inches of heat damaged hair and patted myself on the back for completing my transition into the natural hair lifestyle (if you haven’t read about my transition yet, I suggest you stop reading and click here to catch up). What I didn’t know then was that my transition was far from over.

My first year as a curly girl was a huge success, or so I thought. I experimented with different styling lotions, cremes, and jellies until I found ones that worked best for me. I kept up with routine trims (at home & by myself), and kept my hair away from heat as much as I could, but, I still struggled to fight the urge to straighten my hair from time to time. Initially, I thought a little heat wouldn’t hurt every now and then as long as I conditioned it well before and after. What I didn’t realize was that those sporadic weeks of straightened hair maintained with daily touch-ups added up and eventually I found myself close to square one by the time 2017 rolled around.

By February of 2017, I found myself with split ends and heat damaged deep waves where curls had once formed. Determined to undo the damage, I cut off about 6 inches and began implementing a strict deep conditioning routine complete with various oils and foods. Within a couple of months my hair showed signs of recovery and I was overjoyed. That joy was short-lived, however, because as my hair grew there was a clear divide between my healthy roots and “recovered” ends and it made wearing my hair loose a nightmare.

Now it was September, and my hair was past boob length (I use my boobs to measure hair length, sorry not sorry) when stretched, a length I had craved for since I first cut my hair in 2015, and though my hair was begging to be chopped I couldn’t bring myself to part with it completely, so, I continued with my routine trims thinking I could get away with semi-healthy hair. After straightening my hair a couple more times in the three months that followed, my hair felt dry and brittle, most of the longest layer was stringy and thin, and not one strand formed a complete curl. I reached a point where I was so dissatisfied with my curl pattern that I decided it was time to go back to basics. Not only did I cut my hair about 6 inches and revamp my entire hair care and product routine, but I also decided not to take on the ‘No Heat Challenge’ and not straighten my hair again until further notice.

In the past year since I have been fully committed to my curly hair, I’ve completely changed my perception of my hair and how I value it. In the past, I’ve often chosen lengthy hair over healthy hair because I preferred my hair long. Split ends and choppy hair can easily be concealed with some product and styling when you straighten your hair, but it’s not the same when you wear your hair natural. Straggly straight ends show no mercy and do not blend well with healthy coils and I’ve learned that when it comes to achieving a good wash day, the key is having healthy hair. I have cut my hair no less than 10 times in the past year trying hard to chop off as many unhealthy ends as possible, and though my hair is not as long as I would like for it to be it is strong and healthy.

In many ways, I still feel that I am still at the beginning of this journey with my hair but I do have to say that I appreciate every lesson I’ve learned thus far. Better to have learned them on my own hair than have to experiment on my future children. Here are some of the things that I’ve learned that might help you on your own journey:

1. Hydration & Moisture – It is super important for me to moisturize my hair between washes. Some weeks I dampen, untangle my hair, and put more leave-in conditioner and braid it, other weeks I replace the leave in with an oil.
2. Braids are your friend – Though I style my hair in a bun 99.6% of the time, I try to braid it at night as often as possible and will usually have my hair braided when I’m at home. Braiding hair with product helps to ensure each strand is getting some love and not just tied away and forgotten.
3. Sectioning hair is not optional – Over the years I had gotten lazy with my routine and stopped sectioning my hair when applying conditioners and products and it left me with nice conditioned roots and a dry section right in the back of my head. Always section your hair.
4. Do not touch wet hair – I too often made the mistake of trying to fluff my curls while they were drying and ended up with a frizzy mess. The key to achieving volume without messing up the curl pattern is to wait until your curls have fully dried before fluffing.
5. Wash Less – If you struggle with dry hair try to limit washes to 1x a week and switch out your shampoo to a co-wash 2-3 washes out of the month. Washing your hair less with cleansing chemicals and adding extra conditioning will help your hair retain its natural oils, keeping it healthy and shiny.

Click here to see some pictures of my progress between September 2016 and November 2018.