natural hair – Forever Thugnacious

Curly Commitment: The 3 Year Update

Three years ago, I made a decision to honor my natural curly hair and embark on a “Natural Hair Journey“. Though I had stopped relaxing my hair about eight years prior, I had not stopped straightening it and had no idea how to navigate my life without doing so. Every product, hairstyle, or trick I had revolved around keeping my hair sleek, smooth, and most importantly, pin-straight. After “transitioning” from routinely straightening my hair in 2015, I chopped off more than 12 inches of heat damaged hair and patted myself on the back for completing my transition into the natural hair lifestyle (if you haven’t read about my transition yet, I suggest you stop reading and click here to catch up). What I didn’t know then was that my transition was far from over.

My first year as a curly girl was a huge success, or so I thought. I experimented with different styling lotions, cremes, and jellies until I found ones that worked best for me. I kept up with routine trims (at home & by myself), and kept my hair away from heat as much as I could, but, I still struggled to fight the urge to straighten my hair from time to time. Initially, I thought a little heat wouldn’t hurt every now and then as long as I conditioned it well before and after. What I didn’t realize was that those sporadic weeks of straightened hair maintained with daily touch-ups added up and eventually I found myself close to square one by the time 2017 rolled around.

By February of 2017, I found myself with split ends and heat damaged deep waves where curls had once formed. Determined to undo the damage, I cut off about 6 inches and began implementing a strict deep conditioning routine complete with various oils and foods. Within a couple of months my hair showed signs of recovery and I was overjoyed. That joy was short-lived, however, because as my hair grew there was a clear divide between my healthy roots and “recovered” ends and it made wearing my hair loose a nightmare.

Now it was September, and my hair was past boob length (I use my boobs to measure hair length, sorry not sorry) when stretched, a length I had craved for since I first cut my hair in 2015, and though my hair was begging to be chopped I couldn’t bring myself to part with it completely, so, I continued with my routine trims thinking I could get away with semi-healthy hair. After straightening my hair a couple more times in the three months that followed, my hair felt dry and brittle, most of the longest layer was stringy and thin, and not one strand formed a complete curl. I reached a point where I was so dissatisfied with my curl pattern that I decided it was time to go back to basics. Not only did I cut my hair about 6 inches and revamp my entire hair care and product routine, but I also decided not to take on the ‘No Heat Challenge’ and not straighten my hair again until further notice.

In the past year since I have been fully committed to my curly hair, I’ve completely changed my perception of my hair and how I value it. In the past, I’ve often chosen lengthy hair over healthy hair because I preferred my hair long. Split ends and choppy hair can easily be concealed with some product and styling when you straighten your hair, but it’s not the same when you wear your hair natural. Straggly straight ends show no mercy and do not blend well with healthy coils and I’ve learned that when it comes to achieving a good wash day, the key is having healthy hair. I have cut my hair no less than 10 times in the past year trying hard to chop off as many unhealthy ends as possible, and though my hair is not as long as I would like for it to be it is strong and healthy.

In many ways, I still feel that I am still at the beginning of this journey with my hair but I do have to say that I appreciate every lesson I’ve learned thus far. Better to have learned them on my own hair than have to experiment on my future children. Here are some of the things that I’ve learned that might help you on your own journey:

Hydration & Moisture – It is super important for me to moisturize my hair between washes. Some weeks I dampen, untangle my hair, and put more leave-in conditioner and braid it, other weeks I replace the leave in with an oil.
Braids are your friend – Though I style my hair in a bun 99.6% of the time, I try to braid it at night as often as possible and will usually have my hair braided when I’m at home. Braiding hair with product helps to ensure each strand is getting some love and not just tied away and forgotten.
Sectioning hair is not optional – Over the years I had gotten lazy with my routine and stopped sectioning my hair when applying conditioners and products and it left me with nice conditioned roots and a dry section right in the back of my head. Always section your hair.
Do not touch wet hair – I too often made the mistake of trying to fluff my curls while they were drying and ended up with a frizzy mess. The key to achieving volume without messing up the curl pattern is to wait until your curls have fully dried before fluffing.
Wash Less – If you struggle with dry hair try to limit washes to 1x a week and switch out your shampoo to a co-wash 2-3 washes out of the month. Washing your hair less with cleansing chemicals and adding extra conditioning will help your hair retain its natural oils, keeping it healthy and shiny.

Click here to see some pictures of my progress between September 2016 and November 2018.

Early Morning Thoughts

Thoughts

How long will it take for us people of color to recognize and support our own businesses, entrepreneurs, and artists of all kinds? We keep calling out for equal representation in institutions that were never meant to include us while still blindly supporting those very same organizations that ignore our talents time and time again. We have to stop asking to be valued by people who may never understand our struggles and accomplishments. Instead, we need to love, nurture, and enrich ourselves.

I support people who share the view that we need to invest our hard earned money in our communities in order to see them grow. We waste hundreds of thousands of dollars a year buying european designer clothes that were not meant to be worn by us. When those designers host runway shows how many models of color do they choose to showcase their work? One? Two if we’re lucky? But how many of those designers appropriate our culture by having their models sport textured hair and braided hair? Definitely more than just one or two. Please keep that in mind the next time you buy a European designer hand bag.

The truth is too many of us are furthering our education and taking our new found knowledge to the corporations that continue to oppress and exploit us. Do not underestimate the power of knowledge, and be aware that knowledge acquired outside of the classroom can be just as important. In other words, do not discredit the lessons passed down to you from generations and generations of hard-working people who have struggled to make it possible for you to have access to an education. Knowledge is a resource we cannot afford to waste or misuse.

I’m not saying we need to boycott all things outside our communities. I’m just asking that we think about exactly who we are supporting with our money and make efforts to allocate funds to the organizations that have our best interests at heart and represent us in ways we deserve.

Being a Latina in the US

Thoughts

The older I get the more I realize how truly difficult it is to be a Latina living in the US. It’s like I’m constantly trying to find the perfect balance between assimilation into US American “culture” and my own Dominican culture. I’m either too Dominican for US Americans or too “white” for my Dominican family. I’m constantly thinking back to the scene in the movie Selena where her father Abraham tries to prepare her for exactly what she was getting herself into by being a Mexican-American artist crossing over into popular culture. It is exhausting.

I find myself cringing everytime I hear my Spanish accent roll off my tongue when I’m around white Anericans. I still don’t know why or how I’m so proud to be Dominican but so ashamed of my accent. I still refuse to accept the fact that I have an accent even though im always being told otherwise. I guess it’s a learned self-hatred and I’m still in the process of decolonizing myself inside and out.

I don’t think I’m alone in this struggle, and I hope that everyone out there who is trying their best to fit in with their family and the general US American population knows that they aren’t alone either. Maybe we’ll find a happy medium… Maybe we won’t. Who knows? I sure don’t.

Natural Hair Journey

Lifestyle

I started my natural hair journey by accident in early 2014. When I was 12 years old (2007), I stopped relaxing my hair after getting a really bad relaxer that had my hair all kids of messed up. For the next 3 years I went through a really awkward transitioning phase until my hair was finally 100% natural. I learned how straighten my own hair as a freshman in college (2012) when my mom bought me my first flat iron. Once I had started straightening my hair on my own nothing could stop me. I had mastered the flat iron and I loved it.

By the time I was halfway through my sophomore year of college (2014), I decided that I wanted to wear my hair curly more often. By this point my hair was so heat damaged that it literally did not curl. Loose frizzy waves were the most my hair could manage, even after endless crunching.

Eventually what I had started doing was french braiding my hair while wet and letting dry to achieve a more defined curl and I would rotate back and forth between this and straightening my hair.

FullSizeRender (4) — My braid out on a good day.

Since I didn’t really know of any curl styling products besides gel at the time, I had been relying on my conditioner as a styling product to hold my “curls” and fight frizz. I had attempted using gel in high school but I could never find one with enough hold or one that gave my “curls” any definition so I abandoned the idea of using gel altogether. By now, it was early 2015 and at some point someone recommended that I look into Shea Moisture products because they were really good for styling curly hair, so I did.

I started off simple with their Coconut & Hibiscus Curl Enhancing Smoothie and boy did I love the results. It was the best curl styling product I had ever tried. It held my “curls” like Gel was supposed to and gave them definition I had never seen on my hair before. Now that I had found my new miracle product I wore my hair curly all the time. I should probably note that what I considered curls were actually more like deep waves (which is why I’ve been putting the word in quotations) but as time went on they kept getting closer and closer to the curly side of the spectrum.

Throughout the Spring 2015 semester I only straightened my hair a handful of times and as a result my hair became so much healthier and thicker. As a child, I was always told that I had so much hair that I had enough to supply four people with a whole head’s worth of hair. Once I had begun relaxing my hair I lost a lot of the fullness I once had and I never really regained it. It was only until I had stopped applying so much heat to my hair that I finally began to see a difference in my hair’s fullness.

FullSizeRender (6) — Wash & Go, February/March 2015.

Towards the end of the semester into the beginning of the summer I began to experiment with different products ranging from styling jellies to styling lotions and milks. I started combining different products to see which ones worked best to achieve my desired look. Finally, towards the end of the summer, I found a product formula that worked best and it was one of the best days of my life! My hair finally developed its own curl pattern, and I was the happiest girl on the planet.

FullSizeRender (5) — Wash & Go, July 2015.

Today, my curls are healthy and bouncy and actually curly but I still feel like I have a ways to go until I can say I am 100% satisfied with my hair. Looking back my journey thus far I can say that this has been one of the most rewarding experiences. Not only do I feel accomplished when I look at how far my hair has come but I also feel more like myself.

FullSizeRender (7) — Wash & Go, November 2015.

My natural hair journey has served as so much more than just an aesthetic transformation. It has been a road to self discovery. I’ve learned so much about myself and the woman I aspire to be and I’ve gained a sense of accomplishment. For so many years, hair stylists had me under the impression that my hair was an un-tamable entity and now that I have learned not only how to “tame” it with a flat iron, but also how to properly care for it in its natural form, I feel like there is very little I can’t do if I put my mind to it. Through my natural hair journey I’ve been able to inspire and assist so many young women my age to start their own and being able to have that kind of effect on people is such a rewarding feeling. Going natural is something that I would recommend to every woman. It is not a quick or easy process, but it has such a beautiful outcome.