Between numerous social media accounts, cellphones, home-phones, and work phones, it’s practically impossible to be disconnected from anyone. From the time I was 9 years old when I first joined Facebook, AOL Instant Messenger, and received my first cell phone, there was almost never a moment where one could not reach me if they wanted. Over the years I had developed a dependency to these lines of communication which only got worse with every new social media account I created. Not many days went by without me checking or posting on my social media or picking up my phone every few minutes just to see if I had received any messages.
Everything changed in 2016 when I went a few months without a working phone and had to rely on my iPod and WiFi for communication. I went hours without being connected and at first it drove me insane. When I wasn’t wondering about who had reached out to me, I was worried that there could be an emergency at any moment and I wouldn’t know. Over time, I had gotten accustomed to being disconnected and realized it was incredibly freeing. Always being connected to lines of communication comes with a lot of pressure to respond in a timely fashion, and it was something I didn’t notice until I had no control over my response times.
By the time I had gotten a working phone again, I was so used to responding only when I could, that the habit remained even when the pressure to respond crept back. Without my cellphone, I had relearned the art of being present and rediscovered a life that didn’t revolve around a phone screen. I noticed just how much more time I had to myself and just how much more involved I became in every moment whether I was spending time with friends or spending time on my hobbies.
After re-launching my blog, my phone became more of a tool than a communication device which meant I was constantly using it to create content. The problem was I couldn’t open my phone to do anything productive without seeing all of my unread messages and notifications. After months of struggling to focus with a non-stop barrage of notifications forever shifting my attention, I decided that I needed to make a change. These days I live with my phone on “Do Not Disturb”, all push notifications turned off, and all social media apps (including messages) on the second page of my social app folder. This way, I can still dedicate time to the things I find important without any distractions.
We have gotten to a point where we neglect what we’re currently doing and direct our attention to whoever’s post, DM, or text we’re reading. We’ve been living a life of split focus and half presence so that others don’t feel disrespected by having been left on “seen” and we don’t feel like we’ve missed out because we missed a post, text, or call. It doesn’t seem like a big deal to provide everyone with responses in a timely fashion, or catch up on the latest posts so often, until you consider just how much time you are dedicating to other people vs how much time you are dedicating towards yourself and the present moment. Staying connected is important but not at the expense of experiencing the here and now. Everyone deserves time to shut down and disconnect from the world so they can reconnect with themselves, including you.
Be conscious of your phone use, life is too short to spend it scrolling through a gadget. Your phone does not need to govern how you spend your time and being accessible doesn’t need to mean being available. Reclaim your time and attention, if anyone is deserving of your time, it is you.
Forever Thugnacious 